Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
