I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
