Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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