make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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