You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
