I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
