remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
home. puking in laundry basket.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
