you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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