I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think my moral compass just broke
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