All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
