Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
