I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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