Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
