Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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