And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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