what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
