you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
