you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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