I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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