we have officially lost it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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