Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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