Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
