ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You were trust falling into bushes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
