HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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