I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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