I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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