There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
