Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Randomize
