gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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