I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
