Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
