my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
