Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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