I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
