capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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