I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
