I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
