imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
