Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
