I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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