puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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