You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
