so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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