He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
