no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
