I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
