I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize