you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
