We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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