were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
