I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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