Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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