i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm bleeding and have questions
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
