fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
