i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
