I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
