How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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