know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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