Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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