when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
