Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
