this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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