But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry about my life...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
