Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
