Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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