so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My life is pants optional.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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