I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
